The Stress of Excess

I usually don’t pay too much attention to commercials. In fact, I usually hit the mute button on the remote until they go away. This post is all about the stresses of excess and excess of marketing and information can be just as intrusive as physical items. There is one particular line from one particular yogurt commercial however, that has stuck with me. The lead in this spot, referring to the excess of sugars or preservatives or whatever in her yogurt says three simple words, “Some less please”.

Picture the opposite of this and you may conjure up something similar to the poor, little, hungry boy in “Oliver Twist” saying, “Please sir, I want some more.” While there are unfortunately still many who relate to this, there are more and more of us who, whether we have very much money or not, have found ourselves on the opposite side of the spectrum with too much. Too much stuff, too much content, too much food…. for this post, I will mainly focus on the excess of stuff. You know this is a problem when there are people who buy more stuff because they can’t find what they already have amongst all their STUFF!

Let me quickly delve into why all this excess seems to matter to me.

I was always a very quiet kid. I wanted to be able to socialize more, but lacked the confidence and had a hard time relating to those around me. Because I felt I didn’t have a voice, self-expression ended up coming out in other ways, such as through writing and acting. It was hard to feel “heard” on a regular basis though, and I felt I lost control of who I was and I let others “define” me. I was the youngest, but even through adult life I’d always get hand-me-downs and birthday/Christmas gifts from well-meaning loved ones who often missed the mark when it came to getting something my style or something I really needed or wanted. This, on top of always avoiding confrontation and my own extreme frugality left me a little confused on how to express myself through things like clothes, decorations, etc. I felt too guilty to tell people exactly what I wanted, too cheap to buy things for myself, and I felt shame for thinking that any of this should even matter – after all, it’s just stuff. When you feel you can’t speak up for yourself any other way though, all of a sudden all this stuff feels like a way to be heard, to be known.

Sometimes I look around my home and cringe, thinking that this and that doesn’t represent me. I see all the things I never picked out. I see piles of stuff I’ve hung onto over the years out of guilt or sentiment that I just want to disappear from sight. I’m a minimalist at heart so all the excess can be an eye sore, something else to clean, something else that will eat up more of my precious time, and every item represents a decision that needs to be made. (I’m not a strong decision-maker so this can be overwhelming.) Where does it go? Do I even want it? Should I donate it? Where should I donate it? Can I just drop it off or do I have to go inside? Can I recycle this? Can I use this? Is there someone I already know who would get more value from it?, etc.

I have compared myself to those in poverty who need so much and here I have a “too much ‘problem'”. If you can relate though, yes, it’s good to gain some perspective but it doesn’t mean you should ignore YOUR problems; no matter how petty they may seem in comparison. They still need to be dealt with. I’m trying to communicate with my loved ones about my stresses over too much stuff and have asked them to try and stick to a list of things that I could actually use and enjoy, all while realizing that in times I do receive things I don’t need or want, I will continue to be grateful and deal with them calmly, one thing at a time.

This year, I’m choosing to receive with a grateful heart knowing that I have amazing loved ones around me who are just trying to express their love the best way they know how. I am also loving myself more by choosing what’s best for me. Sometimes that means cherishing something and sometimes that means graciously letting it go.

But in the meantime, “Some less please.”