I have always liked the feeling of getting dirt on my hands. Whether they’re black and oily from messing around under the hood of a car or whether I’m literally digging in the dirt when planting or weeding. When I look down at my dirty hands, I can visibly see my efforts.
Sometimes, however, even when our hands are covered in oil, the car still won’t start; or when our hands are filthy and dirt is embedded underneath our fingernails, the plants still die.
Why put in all the effort if we don’t get the outcome we’re looking for?
Back when I was living the actor life, whenever I would perform my goal was always to be as authentic as possible. I wanted myself and my audience to experience some kind of connection to a universal truth. Most of the time, however, I was more aware of ‘performing’ than I was ‘living in the moment’. One performance back in college, I felt so inauthentic and fake that after my scene was over, I collapsed on the bathroom floor in the dressing room and balled. That’s how bad I wanted to do it right. All the hard work and preparation had failed me.
So why did I continue acting for 10 more years? I did it for the one percent. That one percent of the time when everything feels just right, I lose myself and I suddenly feel like the vessel of truth I was seeking to be.
A car will eventually start; a plant will grow… if we diligently put in the effort. We need to do our part and let God do His. Remember that God hears what we ask Him for, but things happen in His time, not ours.
My mother had given me little tree sprigs that she had received through the Arbor Day Foundation. There were probably ten of them. Out of all ten of those trees, only one looks like it’s thriving. (Grant it, I don’t have much of a green thumb yet still, that’s a 10% success rate versus the 1% we talked about earlier, so not bad!)
When I was in school, I was definitely that type-A, hardworking, overachieving kind of student. I didn’t necessarily have ‘natural smarts’; I was a slow test-taker and secretly wondered if I had some kind of mild learning disorder. School was hard for me. I excelled at it though because of my work ethic. I cared about school and about learning, and to my satisfaction my grades reflected that.
Into early adulthood, I started to wonder why I tried so hard. I never got a fancy, high-earning job. There was no appropriate place on the job resumes I was filling out to explain how awesome of a student I was or that I got straight A’s (sometimes). Why did I insist being in Pre-Cal even when I stayed after school with a study group or when sitting in the front row of class, trying to hide the tears streaming down my face because no matter how bad I wanted to learn, I just didn’t get it? Why did I stay inside working on homework as a kid when all I wanted to do was to go outside and play?
I will admit, yes, maybe I should have been a little easier on myself. Life is about balance afterall. But my efforts have paid off, just not in a predictable, obvious way. Those work habits I made as a kid has built character and has lifted me up many times throughout my life. I feel that I have excelled at just about every job I’ve had and every project I’ve poured myself into because it’s hard for me to half-ass anything when the opposite is what’s ingrained in me.
I know how hard it can be to put in the work when there aren’t immediate returns. Why do you think so many of us easily gravitate toward television, social media, or snacking even? They’re quick little dopamine fixes – we’re immediately rewarded in some way.
If we try to do little things every day or every week that can make the future brighter for ourselves and others, well, then I say that those are seeds worth planting.