Labels

A few years ago I had a homework assignment from my therapist to write down “I am” at the top of a piece of paper and then make a list of who I am. Whenever I go back and look at that list, I realize that most of what I wrote down is superficial – it doesn’t really define who I am. Can you be defined? People have tried to summarize individuals in eulogies or on headstones, we take personality tests, read horoscopes, and quite frankly, it feels good to get any sort of feedback from outside sources that tell us who we are. We want to be able to identify with something because as humans we crave to “know thyself”.

One topic I’ve been focused a lot on lately is the reputation of Christianity. I’ve been very disheartened by the way many self-professed Christians choose to behave and represent my religion – a religion that I think should convey truth, love, and acceptance, not judgment, hypocrisy, and exclusion.

Feminism is another example. I shouldn’t be afraid to label myself a feminist but due to self-proclaimed feminists who tarnish and abuse the true meaning of it, I hesitate to associate myself with the word. I support the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities¹. What I am not on board with is the negative branding of feminism that has come to represent total female dominance and male-bashing.

Politics – need I go on? Whatever party I declare will have it’s own set of preconvictions. If I told you that I am a democrat would that make you want to stop reading? Would you automatically assume that I’m an immoral snob who wants to kill babies and take everyone’s guns away? If you hear someone is Republican would you discredit everything they say because you automatically assume they’re homophobic and uneducated? Ridiculous. All these silly clichés that get circled around party names are what keep us divided. We can choose to focus on commonality when possible and ask ourselves what’s petty versus what matters.

These are just a few examples of labels that I hesitate slapping on my forehead for the world to see before I spell out to people my context of it. The matter of the fact is, that what a label means to you, may not mean the same thing to someone else. We label things to separate. To organize things into different groups as a means to make things easier. The problem with labeling people is that we are complex beings who cannot be reduced to a mere classification. We have more depth than that. I think we forget that important fact and as a result, it makes us judge others negatively and it segregates us. Boy, am I guilty of this. I take one look at someone and think I have them all figured out. I put my own label on them as a way to try and make sense of who’s who. These kinds of presumptions inhibit us from really getting to know our fellow man/woman.

Labeling isn’t all bad – it just shouldn’t be a means to an end. There’s a human being behind every label and behind every human being is a soul – a soul that is transcendent and much more than meets the eye. Think of how rich and beautiful relationships with others could be if we were only more open-minded to who they really are – the person absent of the labels.

¹ https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/feminism