Nope. Diaries aren’t just for emotional, teenage girls. But if the word still repels you because of its cheesy connotation as it does me, then let’s call them journals. A ‘journal’ sounds much more sophisticated.
Starting back in August of this past year, I began journaling consistently. Not in some expensive, mole-skinned-leather-bound book with a fancy-schmancy engraved pen or anything like that. No need to blow a paycheck on specialty stationary, nor do you even have to identify yourself as a writer for that matter. I’m currently writing in a used composition book that I had acquired from high school in which I’ve torn the previous notes out of.
Speaking of high school, I feel compelled to mention that I had a journal once before around that time. Alright, so I may have been an emotional, teenage girl, but due to my pride, I called it a journal, even then. Except back then, I had a lot of ooey-gooey pain that I let bleed all over the pages of this journal. I would write furiously, not giving my brain time to process any thoughts. My handwriting was even different – it was choppy and the ink, dark from where hot, anger seared through the pen. After months of purging dark emotions onto the pages, I realized that this journal was the monster I never wanted to create. Being a private person, I had told myself that I never wanted to have anything that I wouldn’t want anyone to find. And sure enough, my husband (boyfriend at the time) found my little monster and together, we burned the pages and flushed them down the toilet like some kind of cathartic ritual.
So why am I doing it all over again, years later? And why do I think you should consider doing it as well?
It worked.
Before destroying the journal as if it were a Horcrux or something, I felt a sense of relief after every entry I wrote. It was very therapeutic. I believe what I did was called “free-writing”. It provided a calming effect. If you ever feel overwhelmed by a flood of thoughts that are a real distraction to you, you can try this. The key is to not think. You’re already doing enough of that. Let the pen/pencil do the thinking. Write until you feel you’ve gotten everything out, like a brain-dump. You should be able to tell when to stop. If you find yourself thinking too hard about what to write next, it’s time to stop. If you feel any sort of relief, calmness or clarity, then your free-writing session was successful.
You can go about journaling other ways too. These days, I do a less compulsive version of free-writing. I take my time with it, but I still try not to overthink anything. I usually write about five to fifteen minutes, Monday through Friday, sometimes at night, but usually in the morning. The bottom line is that there is no right way to do it. Whatever you’re willing to commit to is fine.
When I write in my journal, it organizes my thoughts. It forces me to put what’s been swimming around in my head onto paper by forming words and therefore, manifesting into more digestible bits of information. Once you have this information, you can then use it to your advantage.
Have you ever had something unsettling on your mind, that keeps returning over and over again?
Imagine that you had taken some time to write down and explore those feelings and also – and this is just as important – wrote down when you felt good or at peace too. Do you think writing down your experiences could help you in the future?
Here’s an example of something I wrote on December 13th, 2016:
“Whoa. Guess what? Turns out you can choose to be happy after all. Grant it, I’ve been working on it for years, in a way, but now, I’m learning to choose it more often. I used to think that the ability to choose happiness was bullshit, that we don’t have that much control. But we have more than one might think. We just have to fight for it, every day, every moment.”
This highlights why writing the good moments in your life is just as important as the bad. I think of this entry often during times when I feel unhappy. Knowing that I chose happiness before and that I can choose it again has been a real game-changer for me. If I had chosen to write the good along with the bad in my journal back in high school, maybe I could have been a little happier beyond just the experience of temporary relief.
Last month I found myself writing about how I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life and troubled about not being in the type of career I thought I wanted. Here’s the entry I wrote on December 6th 2016 that helped me get through this:
“I’ve been over-thinking again. Now that it’s December, I keep thinking of all the things I want to accomplish next year. Whenever I dig deep and try to think about what I should be doing, ironically I realize that I’m already on the right path. When I’m truly awake, I realize I’m even happy with exactly how my life is right now. My mind is used to the constant searching. I’m always looking for ways to be better. Not necessarily a bad quality, but when I’m present – wow. I think I’m happy when I’m present. Content, at least, and my contentment is probably a happier version that a lot of people’s. Contentment is a wonderful feeling over the feeling of unfulfillment – which is how I feel when I over-think about the things I ‘should’ accomplish. I need to let go and trust myself.”
These are just a couple of examples of how I have helped myself through journaling. Recently, I’ve been finding it a little more challenging to come up with what to write which is a wonderful ‘problem’ to have. It means that I haven’t been searching for something to feel unfulfilled about, something that is purely future-based. It means that I’ve chosen to find joy in the here and now. Over time of keeping my journal, I’ve written about desires and sadness less and less and I’ve written about positive things more and more which will be very useful to me for whenever I’m in a funk again.
Here’s the takeaway: If you decide to give journaling a try, know that you don’t have to be some brilliant writer and it doesn’t have to be a huge commitment. There’s no page or time requirement. You don’t need to overthink anything, just let out whatever’s on your mind and let your pen take you along for the ride. Write the good, the bad, and the ugly. Review it. Learn from it. I hope that it changes your life for the better as it has mine. Happy writing!