I grew up thinking that my inward nature was a bad thing, that it was my duty to find a way to break out of my shell. Many kids in school would ask,
“Why don’t you talk?”
Ironically enough, this question would usually leave me speechless. Later, I’d conclude that it was because I didn’t find much in common with my schoolmates.
I even took up acting as a way to try and express the unexpressed. It helped me knock down some of those walls, but even through acting I felt that my very nature was being threatened.
“Stop! Say that line again so that people in the back row can hear you.”
“Stop! You’re not projecting your voice, Kasi, project!”
I would later shift to film acting, you know, to bring the camera to me rather than me having to project out so much.
My whole life I was getting subtle cues that who I was wasn’t good enough. It felt like I needed to be like everyone else who met a certain quota of words per day and who could throw their voices to the back of a room.
It took a long time to realize that there was nothing wrong with me and that I could choose to accept myself. I stopped trying so hard to be what I thought I ‘should’ be. I always strive to do my best and improve, but now I self-improve. I don’t try and be anyone else except the best version of myself.
When we’re always looking for answers, especially when we feel oh, so desperate for answers, we tend to seek advice and hold what people say as gospel – especially those whom we admire or find successful.
There are many different roads to success. You already have the map to get there inside you. You have the answers. Trust this. Trust yourself. It’s okay to seek guidance, but you ultimately get to choose which advice to follow and which to disregard.